Thursday, December 30, 2010

Low Self Esteem

This is not good.
Not good at all.
This bad.
BAD, I tell 'ya!!!
With the capital "B"!!!

I'm not feeling well, lately...
I have the cold.
Well, I think it's a cold.
My nose is runny...
and I keep coughing every five seconds.
Not only that, I have loads of assignments to finish..
A speech to practice..
A drama to think about...
A test to study...
Oh yeah, to make matters worse..
My heart is broken.


Just what I need in my already sad life...


It's not like I haven't been through this before.
Been there, done that.

Okay, somehow, I feel like Farah Munirah is constantly changing and yet
she's still the same..
Does that make any sense to you?

It's like..
One minute she's laughing her heart out and the next she's bawling her eyes out..
Get it?

Okay, I have issues.
For those who knew me for a long time, do I seem 
the type of girl with high self esteem and confidence.
Yeah, I know...
I always look calm when everybody else is panicking.
I always thought that I have a good self esteem
but I realised recently that I'm just lying to myself.

To be honest, I have low self esteem and I'm insecure...
and I'm sensitive..
I cry easily...
Maybe I act like I don't mind people saying harsh things to my face
but inside it hurts..

Maybe that's why I'm envious of my friends who have such
high self esteem and self confidence....
To be honest, I envy you sometimes, Nash..
You seem so calm and collected.
If only I was like that.

I want to change 
but it's harder than it looks..
Sob sob sob..

Someone, help me?


Anonymous said...

My dear, I may have looked calm and collected,
but trust me, deep, wayyyy deep inside,
I'm lost.

Farah, kau tahu kan? Aku pun punya banyak masalah.
It's just that, it's my nature to put on a mask; the mask of happiness
instead of showing that I'm in deep sh*t right now...

My dear, be strong okay?
Aku paham perasaan kau.
Been there, done that.
Trust me, maybe ada hikmah di sebaliknya...
Just, if you need me,
I'm here okay?
It's just a hole in the road of your journey.
Just a tiny bump,
you fell, but you'll stand up tall and proud :)

farah said...

huhu.. thanks nash.. tp cm ssh je.. heheh


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