Don't be Afraid of Getting Hurt

" Don't fall in love. You'll just get hurt in the end"

         Whoever gave you this piece of advice, let me give you another, don't listen to them. It's nonsense! Not to mention, impossible! Come on people, do you expect to believe that a person will never fall in love, not even once in their lives? And again, I will say, IMPOSSIBLE!!! Nonsense! It's in our nature to love, is it not? If we don't love then the world will just be a sad place where people only hate each other and curse at one another. Can you imagine living in a world without love?  The world we're living in right now is already full of hate but at least there's still enough love left. Am I right?

 Love + music = peace

          Some people are afraid to fall in love because they don't want to get hurt by love. Oh, please. If you're too afraid of getting hurt then you'll never find happiness in this life. Getting hurt is a part of life. It's how you learn and grow. Getting hurt helps you to be strong. Don't be afraid of getting hurt because after all the pain happiness will catch you. Then you'll look back and feel grateful that you've experienced something that made you who you are today and then you'll realize how blessed you are. It may not be easy but it's worth it.

Even a fortune cookie can give you good advice.. haha~

          

          Yes, it's true that when you fall in love for the first time and it didn't work out with your first love, it'll hurt like hell because it's your first time but then you'll meet someone else and fall in love again or maybe you won't but you'll soon heal from those wounds but those scars will remain as scars.. yeah, it sucks if you couldn't fall in love again but that rarely happens, right? Well, I hope so. So don't worry about getting hurt. Everybody gets hurt by love. Love hurts. That's just the way it is. Always has been and always will be. You can't change it even if you want to. Think of it this way. If you don't get hurt sometimes then love will be dull and boring. No excitement at all. No growth. No lesson learned. When you get hurt or dumped by someone you love then you can look back and learn from your mistakes. What happened? Where did you go wrong? From there, you grow.

          So people, here's a piece of advice from me. Never be afraid of falling in love. And one more thing just because you're in love with someone, it doesn't mean you can do things that you shouldn't do with that person. You get what I'm trying to say, right? Who says love have no boundaries? Sometimes it does. Hehehehe.. Fikir2 kan lah mksudku...

Where is the love?

Just askin'

On Energy Saving Mode

    People, just because I like to sleep a lot, it doesn't mean I'm lazy. I'm just on energy saving mode. Don't believe me. Saving energy for what? Of course, for important things like studying, doing house chores, etc. Let me translate that. Studying and doing house chores actually mean sleeping and watching tv. Both needs energy. Kekekeke. So if anyone tells you that you're lazy because you like to sleep a lot, don't let it bring you down because apparently, sleeping does needs energy and using your energy to do something means that you're not lazy. Conclusion: you are not lazy. Actually, the more you sleep, the more hard-working you are. Hahahaha!!! I'm just being ridiculous. You're probably wondering what my point is and what the hell am I going on about.

     Sleep is a need! It's a NEED, people!!! (so, please let me have my sleep). We need sleep to rest. Yes, we need rest. We're only humans. When we sleep we're on energy saving mode. Jyeahhh~ So for those who like to sleep a lot, you can tell you're mom that you're not wasting you're energy sleeping.. you're actually saving your energy.. BUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I'm teaching you people nonsense, huh? Hahahah!!! Poisoning our generation's minds with things like these.. Ahahahah!!! Oh, whatever. I know most of you probably like to sleep a lot too so don't complain.. (who's complaining, Farah? No one's complaining..)

      Aaaaanyway, I want to write about one of my favourite thing (hehehehe) in this entry which is... yes, you guessed it.. It's SLEEP!!! Booyaahhh!! (tringat sape ek? hehehe) I like sleeping.. Well, who doesn't? I like to sleep late and wwake up late.. Muahahah!!! I hate waking up early in the morning.. Of course I have to wake up and pray... Then I go back to sleep but I can only do that during the holidays... Waaaaa!!!!! I can be really cranky in the morning and if I don't get enough sleep.. So if you see me early in the morning and I look like someone you don't want to mess with, well, you better don't then. I can be scary. I think.

      Sometimes, I don't get enough sleep because, I just can't seem to put my mind at rest.. I just can't sleep.. I'm not sure if I did sleep sometimes because it did't feel like I did. It's like my eyes are closed but my mind is still aware of my surroundings. It's like I didn't even fell asleep. Is that insomnia? Is it? Hmmm... And one of the things I hate when I try to sleep is that when I want to sleep.. I just can't sleep but when I'm doing something, I feel sleepy.. Really, really, really sleepy. That's why I always fell asleep in class. I can't take it.

TOO. SLEEPY. 

CAN'T. OPEN. EYES. ANY. LONGER.

MUST. SLEEP.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

"Whoa! How long was I out?"

 One time, while I was sleeping during Malaysian Studies Class, this happened.

phone vibrated.

One message.

"Tidooo"

Cisssss!!!!

So I woke up.

Then another message.

"Tido la blik"

again CISSSSS!!!!

Hahahaha!!!

To the person who sent me those messages..

Thank you so much for waking me up..

and then telling me to go back to sleep..

Hehehehe..

FYI, I wasn't angry at you.

Heeeee :)

      Another thing that I hate when I'm sleeping is that when I'm in dreamland and I had an awesome dream.. The dream didn't even have an ending yet and then ooopppss!!! I woke up. WHAAAAAATTTTTT?????

Like seriously???? (pnjam ayt seseorg) I hate it when that happens. Come on! I actually get to dream what I've always wanted in real life and I can't even get to finish my dream.. Perghhh!! What's the point of dreaming if you have to wake up half way? *sigh* Story of my life. (on depressed mode).

        Urggghhh!!! I hate it when this happens- when I wake up and realise it was only a dream.. Whhhyyyyy???? I want it to be real... WAAAAAAA!!!! Oh, why must it only be a dream? (again on depressed mode)

        Even though there are some things I hate about sleeping but I will always be "Sleeping Beauty". Ehemmm.... Prasan je lbih minah ni. Conclusion: People who likes to sleep are not lazy. They're just on saving energy mode. It's nonsense, really. Don't believe me. :)

Ps: I'm soooooooo hungry. Somebody, please feed me.. Hahahahah!!! Pegi la msk!! Pemalas!!!

      Can't. Saving energy. (pnyepak skit) Hehehehe...

       Sape leh blanje pizza? hehehehe..

Nmpk cm sdp tp nmpk cm x halal pulak...

Lapoooooo!!!!

K bye!

Thanks for reading!

   

Be strong for me

I'll be quitting my job as an assistant teacher soon. There's only two more weeks left. I'm gonna miss my kids a lot. Notice what I just did there? I used to write"the kids" but now it's "my kids" because they are my kids. I guess I can understand why they say a teacher is like you second parents. To be honest, I can't wait to quit, I'm tired.. and I want some rest before going back to college. But the thing is I'm kinda worried about one of my students. Her name is Ardini.

She used to be my morning session student but all of my morning students have gone to Teacher Kiran's and Teacher Mani's class after I didn't come to work for three days because I had a fever. Teacher Kiran's will be handling the 5 year olds and Teacher Mani will handle the 6 years old. So now I'll be assisting Teacher Kiran so I still get to see my 5 year old students, Ardini, Haikal and Maisarah. When they were in my class, Ardini was always the slowest one so I always scold her more than I did her friends. But even so, I always tell her and my other students the reason why I always scold them. It's because I love them and I want them to be smart kids. They understood. Well, at least I think they did. Heeeee.. 

Even though, I scold her more than I did her friends, she has always liked me. Maybe because I always hugged her when it's time to go home. I hugged all of them. And maybe because, I'd talk to her. Maybe because she saw my sincerity. Who knows what she's thinking? She always smiles at me when she looks at me and she likes to talk to me. And even while she talks she keeps smiling at me. She seemed happy when I was teaching her but when I came back to work, she wasn't the Ardini I knew. She doesn't smile as much as she did then. I noticed. 

See how happy she was?

Maisarah (left) and Ardini (right)

Maisarah, Haikal and me

The other day, I asked her and Haikal if they missed me. They said that they like it even me more when it was me who was teaching them. Ardini said didn't like teacher Kiran teaching her. She always scold her. The other kids in her class are all very smart and Ardini is very slow so I guess she couldn't take it. I know it kinda be irritating but it's not like she wanted to be that way. At least she's trying. I used to scold her a lot when I was teaching her too but I never made her cry. She cried in front of me and I wiped her tears away. 

I told her that I'm not going to be here any more because I'm going to quit so she has to listen to teacher Kiran when she is teaching and she has to speak louder. Teacher Kiran always scold her because Ardini when she speaks.. It's not loud enough. I think it's because she's scared. When I was teaching her, she can speak loud enough for me to hear. You can't push her too hard. She's only 5.

I hope she'll be strong for me and not cry all the time when I'm not there for her.. Be strong for me, Ardini...

 

I want a son!

Yes. When I get married and have children, I want a son first.. mainly because I like cute little boys more than cute little girls. Don't worry, people. I'm not a pedo. I just think boys are cuter than girls. Muahahaha!!

 But of course, that doesn't mean I don't like little girls. I have girl students that I really like. Natalie for example. Hehehe. She's cute especially when she's dancing. I just saw her dancing to Jenifer Lopez's "On The Floor" and that popular song people just love to put in their blogs, "Price Tag" today. She just shook her hips and body but she's so damn cute!!! Hahaha!! My little Natalie and her cuteness..

 I should have a daughter like Natalie. Always telling me stories with no ending and telling me I'm pretty. Yep. Please let me have a daughter like this one day. Hahaha!! But the thing is with daughters is that, they're all cute and lovable when they're little but when they become a teenager, they annoy you and start to rebel. I know because.. well, I was like that to.. and probably still am.

Back to the point, I really want first born child to be a boy. Heee.. then when he'll be a big brother and protect his little brothers and sisters. I won't have to worry about the little ones if I teach him to be a good big brother. If I have a son, I want to teach him to be a responsible man. To be a gentleman and to protect all women. Wah!! Would't it be great if my son became all women's dream man? hahahaha!! Yeah.. I want to raise my son to be like that. Too much? heeee..

One thing for sure. I will never want my son to turn to be one of those jerks who does nothing but make a trash out of their lives.. Urgh! Those kind of people disgust me. If my future son ever turn out to be like that...
then someone please kill me then. Shoot me.. Hang me.. Stab me or whatever.. Because watching my son become like that has already killed me inside.. (over reacting much?)

Enough with the drama.. If I ever had a son, I want him to be a good man. A man I can be proud of.

Anyway, I have already found my dream son. Hahahah!! I like this kid mainly because he's cute.. Wahahhaha!!!

He's my number one favourite student. He doesn't talk much but when he does.. he's just cute with his expressionless face.. hahaha.. He's only four years old and already he has that play-hard-to-get attitude. The girls are going to crazy for this kid. He also has a killer smile. But too bad that you also bite the girls that gets in your way. Like last time you bit Erina's hand when she took the toy that you were playing.. and I told your grandma about it and you got mad at me. Then when I asked whether you like me or not after what happened you just shook your head. You broke my heart that day, Reza.. How could you? But then Last Friday as I was playing wit Erina, you just watched from a far with that cute, expressionless face of yours and then you came and joined us. I asked you again whether you like me or not. Only then you nod your head.

Hmmmph!!! You were mad at me because I told your grandma on you. didn't you? Kids these days.. They are so rebellious. It's a good thing that you're cute and that you're still just four years old, Reza. Hahaha!

              

The son I never had... 

Hahaha!!

Message to my future son:

Dear son,

I don't know whether I'm going to have a son or not in the future but I hope I will and that son would be you.

I hope that you'd be an extremely cute son.. (mntak lbih2 ni) Heheheh.. Hey, mommy's gotta have a cute son, ok. Hahaha! I just hope that I could be a good mother to you and raise you right enough to the person I wanted you to be and the person you want yourself to be that is a good person. No son of mind wants to be a bad person, ok? Also, my son.. Remember, as you grow up you're going to make a lot of mistakes along the way.. and I mean a lot.. Because I did. So you should always remember to learn from those mistakes and never repeat them again. And when you fell in love for the first time.. bear in mind that it might not last forever. 

And you're going to get your heart broken many times until you meet the right person.. That special someone whose going to love you for the rest of her life. Don't rush to find love because love will find you. Wait, my son, and be patient.. Because good things happen to those who wait. And son, as you journey your beautiful and wonderful life.. know that the road can be difficult sometimes. You might hit rock bottom but if I were to ever raise you right, I know you will get back on your feet. Reach for your dreams and live a good life.

Love,

Your mother.

Pergghhhhh!!!! ayt x leh blaaaa der...

P.s: Somebody please buy me this dress.. Puh-lease!!!!!

I want it!!!

My Lovely Natalie

"Once upon a time, there was a little Teacher Farah.. is pretty!"

"And then what happened?"

"She buy cake. The end"

Whatttt?? Just like that? I didn't even get to eat the cake, Natalie.. 

What a cruel story..

Hahaha!!

Yes.. This was one of the conversations that I had with little Natalie.

She likes to make up stories about me

but all of her stories starts the same way and most of them don't even have the ending.

Just the intro.

But it's still sweet.

Natalie is my five year old student.

Yep.

She's Chinese..

and speaks English most of the time..

When I think about leaving that place, I think about who I'm gonna miss.

I thought about little Natalie.

I'll probably miss her "one upon a time" stories which almost never had an ending.. 

except for that one time where I didn't get to eat the cake that I bought.

But does that even count as an ending?

This kid says the cutest and the silliest things..

Always make me smile and laugh with the thing she says..

Me: Natalie, Where is your house?

Natalie: My house in Malaysia.

Me: (laughs) My House is also in Malaysia.

Natalie: I in one Malaysia.

Me: (laughs again)

Cute, right?

Natalie seemed to really like me.

She likes to high 5 me a lot and tell me I'm pretty.

But her high fives are pretty hard.

Hahahah!!!

Did you actually want to just give me a high 5 or did you want to hurt my hands?

Hahahah!!

It's a good thing that you're cute.

I remember that day when I made up a story about you.

"Once upon a time there was a little Natalie. She went to buy a cake and she ate it with Kuen Ling!"

"No, I eat with Teacher Farah"

"You want to eat with me? Chocolate cake?"

"Strawberry cake!"

I smiled when you said you wanted to eat the cake with me.

How cute.

You must really like me, huh?

Well, I like you too, Natalie.

You're cute and sweet.

You always make me laugh and smile.

You're my very own little angel.

One time, I was seating while waiting for the kids parents.

Then Natalie...

You came to me and sat on my lap

saying that you wanted to sit on my lap.

Boy, you are very heavy for a five year old.

What did you eat?

A horse?

Hahahah!!!

I was holding my Daily lesson plan book

where I record the outcomes of all of my daily lessons.

Then you took the book and open it and said that you were going to tell me a story.

Hahahah!!

Oh, but dear Natalie..

That book is not a storybook..

How silly..

"Teacher Farah.."

"What?"

"You are pretty"

"Thank you. You are pretty too"

Yes, you are pretty too Natalie.

Very pretty.

Very pretty indeed.

Ape Nk Jadi?

Jumaat lps ntah knp dgn student2 aku ni.. ade je bnde dorg wat kn.. even my little Reza?

Oh, mngape begini?

My student's are good children..

How can this be?

Walopun Reza wat nakal cmni tbe2 tp brbanding dgn pe yg Zarith wat tu..

Hal Reza tu kecik je..

Ari tu aku lebih kecewa pd Zarith..

Reza x la kecewa sgt..

Die msih kecik lg.. bru 4 thun n perbuatan die tu xdela teruk sgt.

Cmni ceritanye..

That day, adk student kls aku, msuk haven learning yg kt Sua Damai..

Tmpt kteorg la..

Sbelom ni die tadika kt haven learning kt Sua Rasa.

Tp boss kata nk die dtg sni sbb kt sne die sorg x dpt nk socialize ngan org.

Nme bdk 2 Dariah Erina adk student kls aku yg brnme Dariah Batrisya.

Berbeza btol adk die dr akak die..

Akak die snyap.. x ckp sgt..

kalo ckp pun suara perlahan nk mampos!

Pastu ssh btol nk ngajr die..

Mcm xmau usaha nk paham jerr..

Sume kne suap..

Haih..

Mmg slalu kne mrh la kakak die ni..

Erina ni cm friendly skit aku tgk die..
die cm excited tgk rmai kwn2..
Tbe2 die mnangis.. tgk tgn die ade bekas kena gigit..
Rpe2nye Reza gigit die..
BIAR BETOL??
Reza yg good boy tu buat??
Aku p la tnye Reza nape gigit Erina..

Me: Reza, knp Reza gigit die?
Reza: Die ambik mainan.
Me: Die amik mainan? laaaa.. share la.. die kn kwn... kte share2 la..
Len kli share taw?
Reza: (angguk2)

Blik 2 aku bgtaw nenek die ape dh jd.. nenek die mcm taw2 je tbe2 tnye aku.
"Kwn die tu perempuan ek?"
aku pun jwb je la ye.
Hmmmm..
Apekah mksudnye itu?
hehehehe..

Tp Reza still 4 years old..
Nnt die ok la kot dgn Erina.

Yg wat aku btol2 kecewa ari tu.. Zarith..
Time tu time blik..
Aku tunggu la dgn dorg.. tunggu transport dorg smpai nk antr dorg..
Pastu tbe2 bdk2 ni pggil

"Teacher2, Zarith bukak bjy Damia"

What?? bkak bju Damia??
Aku agk trkejut gak ah..
Sblum ni aku dh ajr dorg.. dh ckp kt dorg beberape kli..
Laki n perempuan xleh pluk2 cium2..
Aku taw dorg kcik ag tp zmn skrg ni bdk2 dh trdedah dgn byk bnde x elok.
Lbih baik ajr skrg..

Aku ape lg.. Marah ah wei..
Aku pggil Zarith suro turun dtg kt aku..
Die sengih2 xmau trun..
Aku naik tangga.. tarik telinga die.. pastu pkul tgn die..
Dh die gne tgn nk bkak bju Damia kn..
Gatal sgt tgn tu..

Aku mrh2 die n ulang blik pe yg aku ckp kt dorg psl laki n pompuan
xleh pluk cium2 tu..
Biar Zarith tu kne pkul dpn kwn2 die..
Biar die malu skit..
Nnt xyah wat dh..

Lps 2 aku suro Damia trun dudk jauh dr Zarith..
aku tnye Damia pe yg Zarith wat.
Die kata Si Zarith tu p tarik bju die n tgk dlm.
Aku ape lg..
Aku ckp kt bdk2 len kalo nmpk Zarith wat ag ngtaw aku..

Haih..
Kecewa taw x..
Kecewa..
Yg si Zarith tu dok trsengih2..

Dh tu bkn tu je..
Ptg tu mk Farah, classmate si Zarith tu call
kata yg Zarith tendang Farah smpai bleeding.
Bnde ni brlaku dlm van time dorg blik..
Ape nk jd ni, Zarith?
Bkn Zarith bdk baik?
Knp tbe2 Zarith wat cmni?
Haih...
Bru 6 thun dh wat perangai cmni..
Aku xtaw la cmne nnt lps aku dh brhnti keje weh..
Aku tgk teacher len wat xtaw je psl hal Zarith bkak bju Damia
sbb teacher lg sorg tu taw.
Mse 2 bdk2 tu bgtaw teacher Mani yg Zarith bkak bju Damia.
Reaksi die cmni je
"hah? bkak bju Damia.. Tahape2 la bdk2 ni"

Whatttt?????
Seriously??
Cmtu je??
Aku dh dgr cmtu je reaksi die aku ckp lg skali kt bdk2
tu kalo Zarith wat ag bgtaw aku..
ye la knn.. kalo bgtaw teacher len pastu x wat pape nk watpe?

haih..
Tggal sbulan je aku keje situ..
Lps 2 ape nk jd dgn bdk2 ni?