Thursday, December 30, 2010

Low Self Esteem

This is not good.
Not good at all.
This bad.
BAD, I tell 'ya!!!
With the capital "B"!!!

I'm not feeling well, lately...
I have the cold.
Well, I think it's a cold.
My nose is runny...
and I keep coughing every five seconds.
Not only that, I have loads of assignments to finish..
A speech to practice..
A drama to think about...
A test to study...
Oh yeah, to make matters worse..
My heart is broken.


Just what I need in my already sad life...


It's not like I haven't been through this before.
Been there, done that.

Okay, somehow, I feel like Farah Munirah is constantly changing and yet
she's still the same..
Does that make any sense to you?

It's like..
One minute she's laughing her heart out and the next she's bawling her eyes out..
Get it?

Okay, I have issues.
For those who knew me for a long time, do I seem 
the type of girl with high self esteem and confidence.
Yeah, I know...
I always look calm when everybody else is panicking.
I always thought that I have a good self esteem
but I realised recently that I'm just lying to myself.

To be honest, I have low self esteem and I'm insecure...
and I'm sensitive..
I cry easily...
Maybe I act like I don't mind people saying harsh things to my face
but inside it hurts..

Maybe that's why I'm envious of my friends who have such
high self esteem and self confidence....
To be honest, I envy you sometimes, Nash..
You seem so calm and collected.
If only I was like that.

I want to change 
but it's harder than it looks..
Sob sob sob..

Someone, help me?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Heart Broken

Here it goes again...
Though I've been through it before, I still can't get used to the feeling.
The feeling of getting hurt...
Of getting your heart ripped out of your chest
and watch it being stomped until all that's left of it
is a lump of muscle in a pool of blood...
Yes, I've been through this before...

I told myself not to like him from the start.
Not to fall for him...
Everyday I said this to myself...
"You have to stop liking him before it's too late".
I guess I should have listened more
because in the end I did let myself fall for him.
Something I shouldn't have done in the first place.

Now, look what happened?
I sat there crying by myself in front of my net book.
Why did he have to do it through the facebook chat?
What was that?
That's more cruel than breaking up with someone through the phone.
(No wonder Taylor Swift is pissed at Joe Jonas)

All he can say "I'm sorry"?
Okay, I know that I'm not your girlfriend but weren't you the one 
who started all this?
If you were going to do this, why did you start?
You were the one who texted me first and now you're saying 
that you can't do it anymore?
Because it's not you?
You're just not that kind of guy?
Then you shouldn't have started it.


It's a good thing that a friend called me right away
after he got my message saying that I'm crying.
Hearing his voice asking me what's wrong
just made me want to cry again.
He listened to me crying for a few minutes.
I told him what happened and he told me to breath 
and that there's a lot of guys out there.
He started making silly jokes and making me laugh.
I was touched.
How can I have such a good friend?
Thank you so much for calling.

And Nash...
Thanks for listening..

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

So Talented!!

My fellow "Teslians" are so talented.
(warga tesl mmg dipanggil "Teslians")
They put such a great show in Drama class.
I really like to join other class's Drama class.
Yes, we are allowed to join other class's Drama class
to watch their performance
and most of their performance are DAEBAK!!!!

Thumbs up, guys!!
I'm so jealous of their talents and their ability to perform in front of people.

So anyway, here are some of the videos of their performance...

Okay, due to the fact that this video is too big.. I can't upload it..
I tried but it took so long that I had to cancel it so those who
are my friends in Facebook you can watch it there.

This is Munir's group's drama.
It's an adaptation of the Japanese movie "Crows Zero".
Members: Munir, Nabil, Muaz and Faiz.
Munir as Izawa
Nabil as Genji
Muaz as Izaki
Faiz as Narumi

From left: Muaz, Nabil, Munir and Faiz

Narumi hitting Izaki...
Great acting, guys.

Faiz as Narumi..

Cool right? Hahah!!!
They talked like those Japanese dudes in the movie.
So cool~
And the action?
What do you think?
Well, they are guys after all.

You guys must be wondering who the heck is the guy
 who gave the thumbs up, right?
(for those who watched the video)
Yeah, he's the clown of Munir's class.
(I think his class is 2E)
The guy's name is Faliq.
Never mind him, please tell me how many stars you would give
these guys for their performance in your comments~

Next is this group.. okay, to be honest, I don't really know some
of their member's names.
I'm not even sure what class is this..
I just came to watch.
If I'm not mistaken, this class was assigned to perform a musical.

This group did an adaptation of the famous movie starring
John Travolta (how do you spell his name?)
called "Grease".
They made a musical based on a song from the movie called
"Greased Lightning".

So this is their performance..

Greased lightning!!!!

What do you think?
How many stars will you give them?
Actually, when I watched their performance, the guy smoked
at the last part.
I so dislike that part
But Munir said that it as an electric smoke..
Oh, whatever..
It was still inappropriate.

This is another performance from the same class as the Grease Lightning group.
They did a musical using Taylor Swift's song, "Speak Now".
Yep, that girl sang the song herself in this performance.

A sweet story...

This is another musical from another group of the same class as 
the Taylor Swift and Greased Lightning group.

This is Farris' group!!!!
They're AWESOME!!!!
Note* Farris is the guy in red.

Great performance!!!

So how many stars will you give this one?
I think maybe you'll give the winning prize to Munir's group, am I right?
Or maybe Farris' group?
You decide.

Credits to Muhammad Mikhail (mike) for the videos.
I downloaded them from Facebook.
Hope you don't mind.
And also credits to Faiz Roslan and Fatin Nadhirah for
the pictures.
Yes, I took it from facebook.
Hope it's ok...

Monday, December 27, 2010

I'm Scared

I'm scared...
So so so scared.
Feels like I don't have the strength or the ability to face this harsh and cruel world.
I'm too weak and lacking.
I lack knowledge, skills, strength and confidence.

I'm too afraid.
Afraid of what others think of me.
Afraid to speak my mind.
Afraid to stand up for myself.
I seem to always need someone to hold me.
Someone to help me learn how to walk and talk.
Someone to tell me what's wrong and right.
Someone to teach me how to write and read.
(this is just a metaphor. Is it? Hmmm..)
It's like I'm still just a little girl.
Innocent and pure.
Not knowing how harsh and cruel the world could be.
But I'm not a little girl any more....

I'm not...

I'm always scared to face the world...
But then again, doesn't everyone?

The question is not how scares I am to face the world..
But how do I find the strength and confidence to face it?

Do you know?

Sunday, December 26, 2010

My New Classmates!!!

Time really does fly when you're having fun.
So it has been like what?
5 weeks already since the second semester started?
That long, huh?
I have to say, I'm starting to like my college life.
Yeah, I didn't like it so much during the first semester.
I guess it's because I'm always alone all the time
and I wasn't all that close with my classmates.
In fact, I felt like I was an out cast in that class.
1F was the name of that class.
It's not like I loathe them or anything.
I just don't have that chemistry with them.
Sorry, guys~

Sorry, sorry~

So because of that, I didn't quite enjoy my first semester in UiTM
but now with new classmates and friends (and also a certain star~ ehem),
I'm starting to enjoy going to class and spending time with my new classmates.
They're AWESOME!!!!

What? (Knp aku kt tepi sgt?x nmpk)

Unfortunately, it's only a short semester..
(feels sad)
Sob sob sob..
If only my new classmates were in my class during the first semester..
Oh well, I'm glad that they are my classmates now..
You guys are the best!!!

Thanks my dear classmates~

Group 2C
"The Rollers"

Our motto: "We Just Roll"


Credits to 'Aliya Abdullah 
because I took a couple of these pictures from your
Facebook Album.

Saturday, December 25, 2010


hey ho!

semalam hari yang paling best..
so far ni la dalam bulan disember.
coz mostly in this month,
aku cam miserable..
hahaha...(always ;p)

kelas aku start 8.30 pagi.
then, lepas dh solat subuh...
badan letih giler
plus mati2 ingat kelas pukul 9.30 pagi
aku pun sambung tidur and set jam
pukul 7.30 pagi
last2, aku tak nak bangun gak...
padahal selalu terjaga tengok jam
rasa risau pulak tengok masa
then aku decide untuk bangun
sebab tak tahan asyik nak terjaga je..
then, pergi tengok jadual kelas..
and tengok jam kat depan....
PUKUL 8.11A.M!!!!
ok..memang terbaeeeeeeeekkkk!!!

aku pon..dengan kecuakan tahap cipan ni,
pergi la bergegas ke bilik mandi
then, siap secepat mungkin
heartbeat aku...tak yah cakap la.
tengah siap2 ni
kawan aku call.
"anati, ko kat ne??"
aku pon
" aku baru bangun la...tengah siap2 ni...nanti aku jumpa korang. bye!!"
terus aku campak fon kat katil

dah siap2...aku berlari macam orang giler.
nak naik lift, tapi lift tak turun2
mula rasa tension 
then, kawan call lagi..
n dia suruh cepat2 sikit
and baru aku teringat yang pagi tu aku ada presentation physic's lab 
plus quiz!!!!
and aku memikirkan tangga palam tu
dah la macam gunung everest..


sempat ke tak ni???
jam dah kul 8.20am
and aku decide nak turun guna tangga..bukan lift
memang berdoa la sepanjang kat tangga tu
supaya MR.F (lecturer lab) and judges yang lain tak datang lagi
harap dapat lengah2kan masa diorang sebelum aku tiba kat lab
bila dah sampai kat tangga gunung everest tu
aku nampak...kawan aku yang call tu..
aku rasa terharu giler coz diorang still tunggu
selalunya dah lambat diorang gi lu
memang berdebar ar tadi
diorang suruh releks...

again terbaeeekkk ar...
aku tertinggal kad pelajar UiTM..
kalau pak guard nampak
abis la kena saman nanti
last2 aku ambil buku kawan aku untuk cover
then, jalan cecepat ke lab
time tu dah pukul8.30am
smpai kat sana kul 8.35am
selalunya 15min. kot kalau nak turun tangga tu
tapi..entah la hari ni...

tengok2 diorang tak masuk lagi lab
termakbul jugak doa.
nasib baik aku dah prepare script untuk cakap masa presentation
and masa menunggu judges nak masuk tu...
berdebar2 kot
coz ada yang jenis suka pyscho orang lain
tu yang aku takut..
terutama Prof. Ahmad
bila MR.F kata, judges otw..
semua menatap pintu lab
tak leh bla
suasana terus senyap kot
then...Prof. Ahmad masuk dengan senyuman..
hahhaha...tak la...cuak je tengok dia
lecturer yang lain pon ada gak termasuk la MR.F
and Miss Arda..
tetiba ramai lak time tu..

presentation group aku semuanya ok+ best!!
yang paling best aku dapat buktikan 
kat kawan aku yang aku boleh cakap dengan tenang in english!
coz sebelum ni diorang psycho aku
kata part aku susah la, aku nervous la

last2 masa kat lab tu...
aku..mostly rasa cam tak ada perasaan dah time tu
aku just nak buat cam biasa+terbaek
time tengah cakap tu...semua tetibe senyap n pay attention
last2, kawan aku yang psycho ni...
mengakui kebolehan aku!!
dia kata aku nampak selamba masa cakap.
and paling best....quiz fizik tak sempat nak buat coz tak cukup masa

and sepanjang hari tu...
mood- happy+excited+syukur
tak pernah dapat hari macam tu
ni mungkin gara2 nak balik rumahkan?

Friday, December 24, 2010

Puppy Love

Puppy love..
Every one has experience this at least once in their life, right?
Well, if you haven't, then don't worry...
You will eventually.
It's fun to have experience this kind of stuff..
The nervousness you feel when you're near him...
The feeling of butterflies in your stomach..
The excitement you feel when he (or she) smiled at you..
The sound of bells ringing in your head whenever you see him (or her)..
Yes.. we have all experienced that..
Even my lecturer admits that she had a crush on a certain boy hen she was young.
It was a sweet and funny story, actually, and it all started with the story of the
Chean Long bus...

We were talking about something and then one of my classmates, Nurin,
didn't quite catch what e ere talking about and asked us
what we were talking about it.
Then, my Literature lecturer, Miss Sally said to Nurin "you are very slow
just like the Chean Long bus".
She began telling a story of her school days.
She told us that when she was little, she used to go to school
by bus.. the Chean Long bus..
The bus is really slow.
Kinda like the mini bus at Shah Alam.
REEEAAALLY sloooowww....

Then she started to tell stories about her old crush..
She was going to the surau, I think, when she heard a boy's voice
reciting the Quran..
(or was it the azan? Hmm.. oh, whatever!!! The point is she hear a boy's voice.)
She thought that the boy's voice was so beautiful so she
searched for the owner of the voice for..
I'm not sure for how long, though. I can't remember.
Anyway, she finally found him.
Since then, she had a crush on him.
But he turned out to be her cousin.

He told her that they were cousins but she said in denial "No, we're not cousins".
He kept telling her that they were cousins and she kept denying it.
It was really funny that her juniors would come to her breathing heavily due to the fact
that they were running to get to her, just to tell her that her crush
as wearing a blue shirt that day.

Her friends would steal pictures of him and give them to her
as a present.
One day, her crush came to her house and yes...
she found out that he really was her cousin.

Now, her crush is happily married with someone else and had children..

So that's the story of my Lit lecturer's crush...

~The End~


mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
mengagumi tanpa di cintai
tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
dengan hidupmu, dengan hidupmu

telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah 
bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
meski ku tunggu hingga hujung waktuku
dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejap saja


HEY HO!!!!
mood: moody+stress+ sad+ excited
overall: tak betol!!
terbaek la!!!!

hari ni....kul 9.30pagi
ada lab fizik...
n minggu ni minggu presentation.
bukan tu je....lecturer aku nak buat quiz gak time tu..
again...TERBAIK AR!!!

n hari ni gak...hari paling best sebab...
dapat balik untuk cuti mid sem!!!!
best giler!!!!!!
tak sabar rasanya nak balik
rasa lama giler duduk kat palam ni
mesti dalam lecture hall aku fikir balik je

part yang tak best....
banyak giler keje nak kena siapkan 
assignment....menggunung kot!!!
lab report la paling tak menahan...
hope cuti ni 
aku dapat manfaatkan dengan benda berfaedah+ interesting
hehehehe....hope so..
dah la exam nak dekat

so...wish me all the very berry best ok???
ok2...nite everyone!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Spring Cleaning!!!! (tp bkn spring pun)

Today my lovely and dear room mates and I did some
cleaning in our room.
Our own spring cleaning during the evening...
at dawn..

Cleaning in operation...

Whoa!!! So messy..

The windows are so SHINee!!!
Shining SHINee!!!

I had fun wiping this window...

and look at the fan..
no dust..

Natrah, your place is so messy la...

Our "mom", Nadzirah's place..

My place!!! yeah!!! My bed!!!
Look2!!! There are SHINee's pictures!!!

After we cleaned the room....

Look!!! Natrah's place are now so clean and neat!
Hehehe... My eldest sister, Natrah!!!

Our "mom's" bed is the cleanest and the neatest!!!

My bed id so...
so girly, right?
and so neat..
but not as neat as our "mom's" bed...

The SHINee pictures..
Look.. and adore..

This is my second oldest sister's bed..
So neat and clean...

So this is how our beds are arranged...
Just like last semester...

From left: Aya's bed, Nadzirah's bed..

From left: Natrah's bed, my bed (which is the best, daebak and the most awesomest!!! 
That's not even a word~)

So this is it...
This was how we spent our evening together..
Cleaning our room..


The End~

A Day with Friends

Today was definitely a very tiring day.
Nash, Munir, Am and I went to Sunway Pyramid!!!!

When we arrived there, Nash and I were really hungry so
we had our breakfast at secret recipe.
So expensive!!!

Am only ordered a glass of cold milk.
Munir ordered fish and chips while Nash and I both ordered...
uhh.. I forgot the name of the food..
It's a chicken with no bones inside..
Instead of bones inside, there put cheese in it.
Dibah is probably going to vomit when she reads this.

Ooooh.. Munir, it looks so delicious..

Yummy!!! There's melted cheese inside..


Ready to eat!!!!
Bring it on, chicken!!!
tetibe je =_="

Nash, I couldn't eat this because....
(I batuk la...)

Having FUN!!!

After our stomachs became full, we went to the ice skating rink.
It's DAEBAK!!!!

Excited to skate?
To be honest, I was kinda nervous at that moment...
Though it wasn't my first time at ice skating.

I guess these two were pretty excited as well..

Am, stop trying to look cool!!!

My mom and dad..

I look weird in this outfit..

At about 3pm we rushed to the cinema to watch "Harry Potter 7 part 1"
The movie was okay.
It's not that bad.
It's pretty good, actually.

After the movie, We went back to Shah Alam.
Munir dropped Am off at the bus stop at Seksyen 2.
Then Munir, Nash and I went to Pizza Hut at Seksyen 7 to have dinner.

Mom, dad, daughter..

We are happy family!!!!

We took some pictures while waiting for the food...

And when the food finally came..
More pictures!!!

I miss drinking pepsi,,
But I have a cough..
Sob sob sob...

and then we went back to Mawar...

The end~



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