How do I describe my mood right now?
I am so not enjoying this feeling.
It's so.. so.. well, stressful.
With Medsi and my job to worry about..
yeah things just can't get any worse, can it?
Don't answer that.
I'm worried that if I don't pass Medsi, I won't be able to
continue my degree in TESL.
But if I don't pass it, then it's okay.
Redha je la..
Maybe God has a different plan for me.
To be honest, I didn't really like Tesl at first.
I remember during my first semester of studying Tesl..
I hated it.
Well, maybe it's because I didn't like teaching at the time
and I wasn't all that close with my classmate.
Actually, I wasn't all that close with other Teslians as well..
Yes, I am not that friendly..
I am a quiet and shy person..
But I can be loud and crazy when I want to and when I feel like it.
And when I do unleash that "scary" side of me, you better be prepared...
because you'll be surprised..
and amazed (prasan gler)
Anyway, back to the point, I am also really stressed because of my job.
It's not that I don't like teaching those kids.
(Especially my favourite student, Reza)
And it's not like I hate the kids..
They're great even though they get on my nerve sometimes
but they're not so bad once you get to know them.
Well, most of them are.
I like teaching them and play games with them.
What makes me fell stress is..
well, maybe it's the other teachers.
I don't feel comfortable around them..
and I get this feeling like they don't like me that much
or maybe it's all in my head.
It's just that I kept making mistakes.
I'm still new and there is a lot of things that I don't know
about how things work there..
I have to write the student's report, lesson plan, record book....
It's okay that I have to do all those thing but I'm afraid if I don't do it right..
Sometimes I feel like quitting my job..
But for what?
It's not that I hate the kids, right?
Maybe I'm over reacting?
Whatever happens, I'll just have to face it.
Pray for me, please..