Missing You

      It's 4:41 am and I'm still wide awake. While laying down and staring up at the ceiling, I thought of the kids. It's been two weeks since I quit my job as a kindergarten assistant teacher at Haven Learning Centre and I kinda miss my students. I feel like crying sometimes when I think of them. I love them so much. I wish I could see them and hug them again. I miss those tight hugs and those cute stories. I miss playing with Reza. I miss hugging Amani so tight like she's going to burst. I miss scolding at Emeil for not doing his work. I miss letting Natalie sit on my lap. I miss holding Erina when she's crying and calling me "mummy". I miss being her "mummy". I miss Natalie's once-upon-a-times. I miss all those little moments that may not mean so much to them (because they probably won't remember them) but mean a lot to me. Oh my, I'm actually crying right now.

      When I go out, sometimes I hope I could bump into my students. I want to see them again. The other day I saw one of my students while walking with my mom, buying food to break fast (not sure if I used this sentence correctly) but he didn't see me or maybe he did but didn't recognize me because I was dressed differently, not like how I always dressed when I go to work. The clothes I wear to work I usually boring. Well, to me they're boring. If you knew me, you'd know that I don't usually wear boring clothes. Hahaha! Not to brag or anything.. aaanywayy, I got all excited when I saw Hazwan (that's his name) that I was jumping up and down in excitement and pointing at him telling my mom that he's my student. Well, was my student. Sigh. I wanted to talk to him but he was with his father and I don't him father knows me. Plus, I forgot his name was Hazwan. After he walked away, then I remembered what his name was. Hahaha! Maybe I was so excited that I simply forgot. Silly me. But I was disappointed that I didn't get to talk to him. He was cute when I saw him walking along with his brother, I assume. And he was smiling. It has been a while since I saw that.

       I wonder if they even missed me. They're still kids. Maybe they don't miss me but I do. Reza has probably forgot about me. Sigh. My little, cute Reza. It was disappointing that I didn't get to see you on my last day. You got the chicken pox. It was unfortunate. I hope you'll remember me though I think you probably won't. How sad. I miss pretending shooting you. You were like "bang bang bang" and I was like "bang, bang bang, bang" and pretended to be dead. Hahaha! I will always cherish that because before that you were always so cold to me. Always playing hard to get and like you don't care and you're only four. It's cute. After a while, somehow you started to open your heart to me. You started to play with me and even talk to me (GASP!) which you don't usually do. But Reza, why is it that you only open up to me when I had to more weeks left. I only got one week to actually feel a litle closer to you and then you got the chicken pox during my last week.

Cute little Reza~

        I miss hugging Amani. She's so cuddly, I could just hug her all day. Urgh! She's so cute! And I miss Natelie lying and sitting on my lap. Yes, I miss all of it... I hope I could see them again.. Waaaaaaa!!!! I miss them even though they might not miss me that much.

Here's a cute video I recorded on my last day with them: